Surviving St. Patrick’s Day | 10 Tips
Even though St. Patrick’s Day is officially Monday, March 17, many folks are already knee-deep in merriment across the country.
Buffalo is a city that was built by the Irish. The “Old First Ward” in South Buffalo is still predominantly Irish and home to some of the best bars in the city. St. Patrick’s Day is big on the Niagara Frontier.
I still believe that New Year’s Eve is America’s amateur night and I chronicled my thoughts about that subject in an earlier post. St. Patrick’s Day, and the weekend that proceeds it, is a close second. Once some people put on the “green” it is all over.
So in the spirit of the season, here are my St. Patrick’s Day Top 10 Tips:
There is more to Irish culture than St. Patrick’s Day.
Remember that most people in the world are not Irish.
There are just over 80,000,000 Irish worldwide. That is less than .01% of the world’s population.
I cannot count the number of times I have heard someone say, “Guinness is to heavy to drink…it is like drinking motor oil.” When you hear this comment, you can bet that person either does not know anything about beer or has never actually tasted a Guinness. A Guinness has only 125 calories and 10 carbs…not bad for motor oil.
Irish bars are open throughout the year and not just on March 17.
St. Patrick’s Day might be the worst day to check out your local Irish Pub. Stop by one afternoon and get the real feel of the place. Be sure and tip your waitresses and bartenders.
Remember you might have to work on Tuesday.
If you go out Monday or Sunday for that manner, monitor your alcohol intake and drink plenty of water. You don’t want to show up at the office with bar stamps on your hands and sweating like you just ran a 5k.
Don’t drink “green” beer.
This might be one of the dumbest “traditions” every imposed on the beer drinking public…putting green food coloring in a perfectly good beer. If you must, here is a step-by-step tutorial.
You know who you are.
Attending a parade does not give you a license to be a total jackass.
Just because you caught a piece of Double Bubble Gum or an Atkison’s Chick-O-Stick candy thrown by a member of the Lion’s Club doesn’t give you the right to drink 18 Keystone Lights, strip down to your “Kiss Me I’m Irish” boxers and yelling “Bro” at every person that passes by.
Adhere to this old Apache creed…it is never a good idea to drink Jägermeister while the sun is in the sky.
No explanation needed.
Finally, in the immortal words of Dean Vernon Wormer, “Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life son.”
Remember this when when you are out drinking a few pints and trying to tell people you are Irish.
Have a safe St. Patrick’s Day.
Here’s to a long life and a merry one.
A quick death and an easy one
A pretty girl and an honest one
A cold beer – and another one!
“Lá fhéile Pádraig sona dhuit!”
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Posted on March 15, 2014, in Buffalo, Chicken Fried Buffalo, Food, Irish, Texpatriate and tagged Buffalo, Guinness, Ireland, Irish, Jagermeister, Keystone Light, Niagara Frontier, St. Patrick's Day, Western New York. Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.